Many people go through life without getting their fundamental needs met.

Around the world there are people in desperate need.  For the moment, though, I am talking about something much closer to home.

You might WANT a lot of things in your life, but what do you really NEED?  Probably not much.

I began to ponder this question after an encounter with an advertising salesman.  I initiated the contact, expecting to discover how this person could help me meet my need by delivering customers to see my product.  What I got was a response I didn’t expect.  The salesman began telling me why he couldn’t deliver what I needed unless I was committed to his method of advertising.  The conversation quickly became a contest.  He wanted to “convince” me and I was not interested in being “convinced”.  I ended the conversation by telling the salesman to think and pray about it, and call me if he thought he could help.  WOW!

So what was the problem?  Perhaps it was me.  Perhaps it wasn’t.  I think the salesman immediately jumped in to “sell” me without having any understanding of what I really needed.  A cardinal rule in sales is the two point plan for successful selling: 1. Discover the need.  2. Sell to the need.  How can we ever close the deal if we do not first understand the need?  Needs unknown are needs unmet.

Relationships are like that as well.  Are you getting what you need in your relationships?  If not, it might be that the other person does not KNOW what you need.  Have you told them?  They may not be aware of what your needs really are.  If they were they might be anxious to meet those needs.  It’s also possible they don’t care.  Even so, wouldn’t it be helpful if you KNEW that?

Write your needs on a piece of paper.  Think about it, pray about it and revise it.  Then give it to the person you are hoping will meet those needs.  Their reaction may surprise you.  I have a friend who is able to express his needs in our relationship.  He simply said “I don’t want a friend who isn’t willing to spend time with me”.  That is pretty simple and transparent.  We have a wonderful friendship.  If your needs aren’t being met in  a relationship you might want to try this.

Even God thought it was important to communicate some things in writing.  He personally WROTE, with his own hand, the ten commandments.  He also said “You have not because you ask not.”

TELL the person in your relationship or circumstance what you need… if you dare.  ASK the person in your relationship or circumstance what THEY need… if you dare.  Amazing things will happen!

***Gordon Howie is a nationally syndicated author, host of Liberty Today TV and CEO of Life and Liberty Media***

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